today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
