"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
