I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
