Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
