$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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