You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
