no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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