I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want nice things and good sex
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
