Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
