he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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