White coat. Heels.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
