First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
