'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
