Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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