Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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