another moral hangover. fuck.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
where am i from again
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
