i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
