Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
