Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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