I love black thongs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
