I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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