we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
