Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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