He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She told me I should be a condom model.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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