Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
