You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize