Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
