do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize