The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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