My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
