Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
