Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
