Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
