Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
