So drunk its hurt
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
