Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
