Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
