turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
