There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
