My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
