If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You made out with two different species that night
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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