tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
whose parrot is this?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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