11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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