I'm jealous of your bromance
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
