Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
