Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
