Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize