Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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