idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
