i think my tv is drunk
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize