But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
