Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
