Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
