We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
